Possession

Beth: You sound really evil.
Allie: I'm channeling Allen.

Ben Savage: Ravishing can be a light-emitting adjective. I was ravished by lasers!

[While eating at RUF retreat]

Jeremy: I don't think I know you yet.
Katie: Oh, I'm Katie.
Jeremy: Katie, I'm Jeremy...how old are you?
Katie: What?

[Also during a small group discussion]

Lexie: I think I've used up all my children.

[During a small group discussion on contentment]

Lexie: What does contentment look like?
Greg: Well, I've heard it said - You can't ask more than a puppy on a leash.

Comedy of Errors

James Chu: I'm the only Y-chromosome at this table.
Allie: What? You're not a white girl! We're the only white girls at this table!

[time passes, Eric and Katie arrive...]

Beth: Well, we added another Chu, so we needed another white girl.
Eric: We need David!
Allie: David Scudder is NOT a girl!
Eric: ???

Trees in pants.

Allie: I have tree in my pants.
Carl: You've been having a lot of pants problems lately.

Safe travels!

[In Ethan's car, on the way to retreat]

Hannah: Can I pray for us before we get on the freeway?
Ethan: Sure. Should I shut my eyes?

Nerds!

Caroline: Last King of Scotland, anyone?
Hannah: James?
Beth: James VI?
Caroline: Ha ha ha!

[N.B.: William II.]

[Beth laughs.]
Allie: What?
Beth: Don't worry. I'm laughing at your face.

In Russia, food smells you.

Dining hall food makes me smell like...dining hall food.

-Rob

Oh, Humbio.

Katie: Don't you love...[pause, giggle].
Allie: ?
Katie: I'm not going to finish that sentence.
Allie: Katie, finish the sentence.
Rob: I'm perfectly all right with you not finishing that sentence.

Katie: Don't you love the word zygote?

[At Testimony rehearsal]

Joseph: Sops, you're too pretty. But it's nice that you're pretty... I mean, altos, you're pretty too.

Erm...

Beth: I've been reading articles on why Christian devotional poetry is homosexual.
Panayiota: Finally, someone agrees with me!
Beth: !!??

Eric: The next stage of human evolution will be the de-evolution of mouths and we'll all grow a third hand so we can type and do something else at the same time. ... No, nevermind. The only reason mouths won't devolve is because people want to keep kissing.

Poor Micah

Micah: I was born into abstract poverty.

(His family had food, they just didn't eat it).

Bible Study + Josiah, it continues

Eric: we demand cookies every week

in return

we promise to keep josiah's clothes on

Lexie: He's this guy on the rugby team...?
Jennifer: John?
Lexie: Maybe.
Jennifer: John's really Mormon too, and he likes Josiah.

[While baking Bible Study cookies]

Panayiota: Don't make me take my pants off!

Cory: In honor of Adam, we should all cut off various body growths and send them to our significant others.
Beth: I'd call that Harrissment.

Les cheveux

Beth: Should I cut off my hair?
Allie: If you feel like you're ready to part with it.
Beth: You make it sound like a baby or something.
Allie: It kind of is a baby!

PSA

The futon has just been christened "Baudelaire." That is all.

143 acronyms.

Carl: Hey

me: Hey

Carl: Did you get AFTHOTWTTF?

me: Huh?

Hallway dress code

Beth: Those pearls don't really go with those shorts.
Allie: Okay, I'll take them off.
Beth: The salmon-pink shirt doesn't really work, either.
Allen: Okay, I'm leaving!

Allie: Rob, what time is it?
Rob: Time for you to buy me a cell phone.

Rob: Great

I love it when you talk like that.

me: Um....

Rob: Who said that?

Well, I'll be...

Beth: I'll be bahck. [Pause] Or maybe Beethoven.
Allie: And I'll be Ba...Be...oh, uh, what you said. I'm so glad you say that, too!

Allie: My mom once got stuck on the roof of a frat house during Big Game when she was a student here.
Katie: Oh! We should do that!

"I should mix water with Mountain Dew. It's like vodka and beer."

-Rob Majors

EVIL

Edwin: You're evil.
Allie: No, I'm just conniving.
Edwin: A rose by any other name would smell as...EVIL!

Bible waves

Beth: [walking down the hall in Twain Lower North Monday night at 10:00]
There are, like, Bible waves coming from the walls...

I have a dream

Allie: Last night I had a dream that the leg of Testimony was cut off and it had to undergo emergency surgery to get it put back on.
Beth: Last night I had a dream that I was swimming underwater trying to collect a thesis ring.

Josiah?

Allie: I wonder what they do in their Bible Study.
Beth: I bet they all run around naked or something.
Allie: I can see...Josiah and Greg doing that.

[time passes, enter Dan Tucker]

Dan: What does Rob think we're going to do, go streaking through your Bible Study? You guys are studying redemption, and in runs Josiah naked.
Beth and Allie: !!!
Dan: What? It was just the first thing that came to mind...

Allie's love life, part deux

Allie: The David I have a thing for is coming by.
Jennifer: Scudder?
Allie: No!
Beth: ???

Allie's love life

Allie: Oh! He's going to see David. I have a thing for David!
Beth and Rob: What?
Allie: NOT that David!
Beth and Rob: ???
Allie: Um...