Cory: Notre Dame just sounds like fluffy French bread.

Allie: I feel nauseous
Rob: You're not a man, are you?

[For character explanation, see below]
Darius: I give good massages. I'm so good at massages, I could give you a massage that would kill you. I mean, you would die.

Chicago, New York

[So some brief background. Darius is my cousin. He's 9, and thinks he knows everything. Azar is my aunt, Darius' mother.]

Allie: So I'm going to Chicago with Testimony this winter.
Darius: Chicago? Are you going to the Bronx?
Azar: No, Darius, the Bronx is in New York.
Darius: Yeah, I know. I call Chicago the Bronx.

Attention, passengers...

Panayiota: All unattended Allens will be confiscated.

Micah: Someday, I will be one soooober David Scudder.

[Rob is folding laundry in the computer cluster in Twain.]
Rob: Underwear!

[Time passes]

Allie: Did you get all your laundry folded?
Rob: Underwear!

[Setting: Twain computer cluster. 9pm Wednesday night.]

Allie: Rob, why do you have a drum?
Rob: It's my laundry.
Allie: Are you taking it with you to KZSU?
Rob: Yes.

"If Eric Chu Was a Girl..."

[Eric Chu is going to Indiana for Thanksgiving with the Scudder Family.]

David: He's going to meet my grandparents and get the real Scudder experience...it's kinda like bringing home a girlfriend.

I am loved.

[Panayiota and Allie are discussing the class makeup of RUF. Beth is sitting between them.]

Allie: There aren't many juniors.
Panayiota: But there are a lot of sophomores! That's exciting!
Allie: Yes.
Panayiota: We have a lot of seniors. That's not exciting.
Allie: We can make them leave.

Allie: Ow! I didn't mean that! I meant "We can make them NOT leave!"

Katie Turner, Bartender in Training

[At Sunday Night Prayer...]

Katie: You'd want to go with the hard liquor then, wouldn't you?

[Ethan's away message has a rather emphatic expression of disbelief and anger that Steve Irwin is dead.]

me: Ethan...Steve Irwin has been dead for a while

Ethan: have some respect

sting rays are tasty

me: I see

Singing in the shower?

Jennifer: I was in the shower and I realized that Testimony show is less than a month away. And I was petrified!
Allie: You're in a towel!
Beth and Katie: Hahahahaha!

Bang

Micah: Shooting a gun is like riding a bike. Except when you ride it at someone, they die.

[Setting - 6:50 on a Tuesday night. Allie is attempting to nap on the futon as Beth returns from Faces, where she was a featured Face. There is nothing scheduled for this hour, and no guests expected. It is a time of peace, a precious hour where the two residents of TN 213 can get some well-deserved rest, or do some much-needed work. But strangely, something is absent...]

Beth: Where's Rob?

Eric's love life

Eric: now i need to cut out

Beth: yup

Eric: sigh

but i'm attached

:'(

Beth: get over it

Eric: i can;'t let go :'(

i'm bad about moving on

Beth: it's a resume
not a girlfriend

Eric: still

that's how bad i am at moving on

Beth: booo

Allen: Katie, you look so nice. [Looking at Allie and Beth] Oh, you guys looked nice earlier...

[Greg is taking a picture of a gaggle of giggling girls lying in the quad.]

Grace: Greg! Get more on top of us!

More things...

Rob: Edwin! I have a thing for you.
Edwin: Rob, I have a thing for you, too.

Une radio

[Rob is doing his French homework.]
Rob: What do you think I am, a radio? A feminine radio.
Beth: ???

F-f-f-football

Carl: Football is so complicated…you have to get 11 guys doing something premedididated…premediated…prem...at once.

Beth: Why don't any of you know how to smoke?!?

Katie: I have a great story about restaurant names! So this one time, we had a bunch of gerbils, and then they started inbreeding, and having seizures, and dying.

Katie: Why would she dedicate this song to you?
Beth: Because I'm soooo promiscuous.

...Or join the circus.

My mother, on seeing pictures from Halloween:

"I think you should go back to shaving..."

(Thanks, Mom.)